New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
