...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
