Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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