I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
