I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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