I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
