did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
