Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
