I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
