you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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