their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
