we have pet lesbian snakes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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