Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
