Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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