party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
