why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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