The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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