eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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