I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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