This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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