Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize