turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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