she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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