He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I didn't notice because vodka
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
