oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
