My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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