theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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