FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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