Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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