I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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