She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
