Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize