I accidentally had phone sex last night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize