There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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