in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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