We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
