can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
