I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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