Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize