i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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