I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've blown a few things in my day
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
