I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
