Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
