Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
