Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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