You're so nebulous sometimes
"it" just moved
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
