I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
