its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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