The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize