so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
