I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
