the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
