OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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