UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
