i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Let's get the cat blown out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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