I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize