Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
