i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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