No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
