I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want nice things and good sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
