If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
