yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
