how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My dick has a subreddit
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
