"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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