woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
