Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
