you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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